It’s May Flowers month, so I would like to take this month’s blog to look on the brighter side. We began this quarantine journey during the raw March winds when we too were raw and reeling from the shock of what was happening. Many people experienced a job loss or at least a reduction in pay. We could barely wrap our brains around what was happening. All we could do was retreat to our homes, as we were told to do, and try to make sense of it all. We remained hunkered down through the rains of April, for the most part even unable to get outside much in the soggy world out there. As the temperatures plummeted out there so did our investments, and often our spirits. Things looked pretty bleak. All we could do was take stock of where we were financially and in every other way. For those of us who still had jobs it was just a matter of staying afloat and ignoring the stock market plunge (as we are always told to do), and stay the course. For those struggling with income loss it was a matter of prioritizing and taking care of the most pressing needs (shelter and food). The rest would have to be figured out eventually. “But Victoria”, I can hear you saying now, “I thought this was going to be a silver linings message?” Ok, well now it’s May. The month of flowers. We are still home, but the initial shock has worn off a little. Those that have lost income have hopefully figured out a way to get their most important needs met. Maybe they are getting unemployment, SNAP benefits, food from a food bank, their stimulus check, or help from other sources. The rest of us are learning to live at home, creating new routines, keeping ourselves busy and occupied. But the real May flowers are going to be what we take away for having gone through this. For many this time has given us somewhat of a wake-up call. We were hurrying along through life without even thinking about where all our money and time were going. This has given us time to pause, and think, and live a different way, whether we wanted to or not. Many are surprised to see how little they are spending now that they are forced to stay home, unable to go to restaurants, coffee shops, stores, bars, movies, concerts, etc., etc. Some never paid attention to how much all that was really costing them. And some are finding that they actually can lead a pretty good life without all that spending. Perhaps they will rethink it when life returns to normal. So that’s a silver lining. Forced savings helps you discover a different way. Some people were caught short with no savings to help get them through a time of no income. It’s a hard lesson to learn for sure, but a lesson learned nonetheless. In either case being at home gives you the time to step back and examine the way you have been living, where your money has been going and to make some changes moving forward. What was once an abstract notion “I know I should be saving up for an emergency fund” becomes stark reality, and hopefully, brings about positive change for the future. A silver lining! The silver linings go beyond all that though. As usual when we go through tough times, it brings out the goodness in people. Acts of kindness and generosity abound. It is heartwarming to hear the stories of people going above and beyond for their neighbors, friends and people they don’t even know. And staying at home has given us a chance to live at a different pace, to stop all the rushing about and really spend time with each other in ways we rarely do when life is going full tilt. We have been playing board games, making meals and baking together, even just talking and going for long walks together. Some people have reconnected with old hobbies that they never had time for when life was in full swing. Knitting, gardening, painting, playing an instrument... All that is the best silver lining of all as far as I am concerned. If you know me at all, in person or from my writing, you know that I have long championed the slower, simpler, frugal lifestyle that has now become a forced reality for many. I would like to think that some of this will stick, that at least some people will come away from all this with a new perspective. Priorities will shift. People will slow down just a little. Spend more time home with their families and less money on needless frivolities. I think that would be the biggest silver lining of all. A beautiful May flower indeed! Now if only something would come along to force us to reduce our screen time…
Wishing you all a bright and beautiful flowery future!
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Tis the season …for exuberance, generosity and joyful abandonment. It’s so very festive and fun, but oh so easy to get carried away with it all. And temptations to spend are everywhere you look. Deep discounts! Drastically reduced! Prices slashed! The more you buy the more you save! …. Or do you? It certainly doesn’t seem like it when the bills roll in come January … right around the time when you’re making those New Year’s resolutions, it seems. You know, the ones about getting on a budget and stopping the overspending? So, what are some strategies that you can employ to obtain that simple peaceful holiday season and reign in the excess spending? The first thing you can do is pare down those lists. Of people to buy for, indulgences, activities, and, of course, presents to buy. Well, now is the time to stop and think about that. Take a deep breath, have a cup of tea and sit down and contemplate a quieter, simpler, less hectic holiday season. One that you won’t regret when the new year rolls around. One that you’re not paying for until next August. Does that thought bring you joy? Do you feel your blood pressure dropping already? Sometimes the amount of people we exchange with can become out of hand. What starts out as a nice gesture one year, exchanging with this friend or that relative eventually morphs into a yearly obligation. You may be surprised to find that the other person in this exchange feels the same way and is more than happy to drop the yearly gift swap. Talk to them. Often we also have auxiliary people in our lives to favor with a gift, from teachers to work-related people to babysitters and hairdressers, etc. Many times these people are also swamped with all those many little gifts at holiday time, and though the thought is appreciated they would rather not deal with the deluge. Sometimes a kind and heartfelt note of appreciation is most welcome. If you feel you must give something, make up a big batch of your holiday specialty (cookies, candy, fudge, whatever) and parcel a little out to each of the people in your life that you need to thank. One and done. And edibles are often more appreciated than extra objects to clutter up their lives. Besides paring down the list of people that you exchange with, it is also a good idea to pare down the amount of gifts exchanged. This especially applies our beloved and cherished little offspring. I know it can be so fun to spoil them and see their happy faces when they open that pile of gifts, but is it worth going into debt for? And is it really good for them in the grand scheme of things? ‘
Have you ever noticed that the more gifts children get the less they are actually appreciated? If they open, open, open more and more gifts the presents themselves become secondary to the act of tearing into the innumerable presents. Is this greedy abandonment really the kind of “happiness” you want for your child? Just a few thoughtful gifts might instill a more genuine thankfulness in your child. My last gift giving tip comes too late for this Christmas, but is certainly something you can start for next Christmas. That is to prepare for the holidays all year, both in your spending and your buying. The old fashioned “envelope system” works great here. Just deposit a little bit out of each paycheck and let that be your holiday budget for next year. Pay cash for your presents and other holiday expenses, and when the money’s gone it’s gone. No more spending. And no credit card bills to fret over in January. You can also spread out your buying for the entire year. Look for those after-Christmas sales. Take advantage of clearance sales throughput the year. And one of my favorites, yard sales and thrift shops. I used to pick up gifts for my kids (often still in the box or with tags on) all summer at yard sales and my Christmas shopping was almost done (for dirt cheap) by October except for a few requested items to round out the list. This works especially well with smaller kids who are not as particular as older kids can get. You can sometimes score presents for the adults on your list this way too (keep them in mind when you look around). So, yes, Virginia (or whatever your name is), you can have a joyous holiday season without going into debt for it. In fact, I might venture to say that you can have an even more joyous and peaceful holiday when you keep it simple and take this time to relax and enjoy yourself with your family and friends without all that frenzied spending. Give it a try. You have nothing to lose and lots to gain! Wishing you all a warm and wonderful holiday and a peaceful and prosperous new year! Living in such a materialistic society as we do, it can be hard to even detangle oneself from the mindset of constantly wanting and buying more and more stuff. We have been bombarded with ads from a very early age, from every possible media, telling us why we “need” this that and the other thing. We are told how each of these items will make our lives easier, fuller, more fun, etc., etc. Just the very act of “shopping” has become a leisure time activity in and of itself. We are trained to always want the bigger and better next thing. We compare ourselves to others based on if our stuff is as good, new, and shiny as theirs. We never reach the point of satisfaction because there is always that next best new thing coming out that we have to have, as evidenced by the lines for the newest model iPhone. Really??! Is it that much better than the previous model that you have to waste precious hours of your life waiting on line to have it a few hours (or even days or weeks) earlier than you would have been able to get it otherwise? To me, that represents the epitome of how deeply this materialistic mindset is entrenched in us. And once we get that new thing, how long does the satisfied happy feeling last? Not long apparently as evidenced by all the stuff put out at garage sales (many with tags still on), not to mention Craigslist, eBay, and even worse, into the ever-growing landfills. It is the thrill of the acquisition that is being sought. Once we actually own the thing the joy fades pretty quickly. This just sets us up for wanting more to experience that “high of the buy” once again. As you can see with this type of scenario one can never be truly satisfied and happy. Would you like to get off this unsatisfying and frustrating carousel? I know I do and I make a very concentrated effort in my life to buck the system. It can be hard to do when you are literally surrounded by it, but the better you get at recognizing the pattern and fighting to control being sucked in by it, the happier (not to mention less stressed and richer) you can be. It is when you get out of the “more and better stuff” mindset you truly start to appreciate the things that you have. And ironically the less stuff you have the more you appreciate it. And even more ironically the less you pay for each item the more you appreciate it. I take great satisfaction in having acquired an item for free or very inexpensively that has given me much use or added beauty to my life. The less I spend on something the more I appreciate it, because not only do I appreciate the thing itself, I am also appreciative that it did not take my hard earned money away from me. This can be especially true of items that we tend to collect a lot of, such as clothes. It feels much better to have a few shirts that you really like and enjoy wearing than to have your closets and drawers stuffed with them, many of which you don’t even wear. And if you spent a lot of money on those shirts that you don’t even wear that can make you feel worse. As they say, “Less is more”. It really is true! I take great pleasure in buying a shirt that I really like at a thrift shop for a few bucks (or even better if someone has given it to me for free) and I feel that pleasure each time I wear the shirt. The fact that our world is bombarded with stuff and we can go out to stores filled with it and buy, buy, buy, and now even at home we are bombarded with the urge to buy, buy, buy on our computers leaves us in a state of wanting constant instant gratification. All we have to do is have a thought of wanting something and it can be ours at the swipe of a credit card or click of a button. But has this made us any happier? I would venture to say no. What it has done is deprive us of the joy of waiting for our pleasure. For it is in that anticipation of pleasure that our excitement builds up. If we have to wait for something, then we appreciate it so much more when we finally do get it. Instant gratification has effectively deprived us of that very pleasure. Some people think of trying to live below their means as a painful way to live. They view it as deprivation. But it is all in the mindset of how you approach it. I find that living below my means gives me more pleasure than living the life of constant instant gratification through buying more and more stuff. It is a less stressful, slower, more satisfying way to live. It allows you to savor pleasure more deeply rather than to be constantly looking to acquire the next best thing. I urge you to give the joy of slow acquisition a try. You will be surprised how much pleasure not spending money can bring you. Your life will be less stressful, more peaceful and richer than ever before, I promise! Here we are mid-summer, the height of “fun” season, with so many ways to enjoy this glorious time of year. And the myriad of activities at our disposal can run the gamut from free to ultra-expensive. How are you doing so far? Here’s a tip. The amount of money spent does not equate to the amount of fun had. It’s as simple as that. Let’s look at some ways you can have a great summer without breaking the piggy bank, and some alternatives to those activities you are currently forking over oodles of your hard-earned money for. We’ll start with kids who, as anyone who has ever had them in their lives knows, can be a huge drain on your pocketbook. But as the financial savvy among us know, only if you let them. The first thing that comes to mind with kids and summer is camp. This phenomenon alone can empty your piggy bank. The first question that comes to mind is “Do they really need to go?” At the risk of sounding like the old fart that I am, back in my day, we didn’t all get shuffled off to “enriching” summer camps. We just stayed home and played with our siblings and neighborhood friends all summer. And dare I say, used our imaginations and got plenty of exercise to boot. If you still have the need (or desire) to send your kid(s) to camp, there are less expensive, and yes, free options. Look into them. Your little Einstein can have just as much fun at a town or church camp, often run free of charge, then at a fancy “science” (or art, music, sports, etc.) designed primarily to relieve you of your money. Give it some thought before you sign on the dotted line. As for entertaining the little darlings at home (and may I add here that it is not necessarily our job as parents to “entertain” them?), there is no end to the fun things they can do for free or a small layout for materials. There is art (painting, drawing, sculpting, etc.), water play (small backyard pool, water balloons, sprinkler, etc.), backyard games (tag, soccer, hide and seek, red rover, etc.), indoor (board) games for rainy days. Or take them for a bike ride or a hike or a picnic. Get them involved in some gardening. Have them make a little fairy garden. Take them to the library to check out some books and videos or take part in the many free activities offered there. Have a make-your-own sundae party or a campfire and make s’mores. Look around for free family activities in your or neighboring communities. There are often free concerts in the park, street fairs, and other kid-friendly events listed in your local paper. The possibilities for free fun are only limited by your (and your children’s) imagination. Use it! And many of these activities double as adult entertainment too, even for those of you without children in your lives. Bike rides, hikes, picnics, games, campfires, s’mores, ice cream sundaes, and concerts in the park can all be enjoyed by you too. The library is not only a source of free reading material and videos but often also offers programs geared to adults as well, from book clubs to art classes to writer’s groups. There is something for everyone. Again, keep your eyes and minds open to opportunities in your area. Let’s look at some of those things that drain your pocketbook in the summer. I’ve already mentioned concerts. You can find many for free. Even the paid events will often have cheaper outdoor lawn seats available. I much prefer these “seats” anyway as it is very pleasant being outdoors under the stars enjoying the music.
Going out to eat can get costly in the summer months (and always). Why not take turns hosting potluck dinners with your friends at each other’s houses, or take it out to a park or beach? If you just can’t stay away from restaurants, try skipping the appetizers, keeping drinks to a minimum (one or none), sharing an entree, and/or a dessert, or having the dessert when you get home. At least this will keep the cost down to a minimum. And save the eating out for a special occasion. If you do it all the time it loses its specialness and joy anyway. And then, of course, there’s vacation. The cheapest thing to do of course, is not to go on one, or to opt for the ever-popular “staycation”. But if you must go away there are many things you can do to keep the costs down. Staying for a week at a place with a kitchen will cut your meals budget. Going in on a place like this with friends will cut the cost even further. And just as I suggested at home, look for free activities in the area. You can always go on their town’s website in advance to check out the calendar of events. If you don’t want to rent for the week, you can try house-swapping, either with people you know (to check out a new place with in-the-know references as to what is good to do), or through a house swap registry. Some other tactics to save money would be to go on a shorter vacation (do you really need a whole week away?) Try this midweek to save even more. And always be sure to use any discounts you have available, AAA, AARP, Groupon, discount coupon books, etc.) And as for those money intensive kids on vacation, make sure to give them a budget ahead of time. It might be a good idea to provide them with their own vacation fund (for treats, souvenirs, etc.) ahead of time. When it’s gone it’s gone. It’s up to them how long they make it last. This doubles as a good lesson for them for future budgeting (wink, wink). Here’s to enjoying the glorious bittersweet last month of summer. Keep the activities simple and on-budget and you can look back on your delightful summer with no regrets and no debt, only fond memories to treasure forever. |
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