Continuing along the wedding theme, I am delighted to report that my daughter created a beautiful wedding for herself and her new husband while leaving plenty of money in the piggybank for them to begin their new life together. It was a simple yet elegant affair that celebrated the occasion in lovely fashion that was enjoyed by all who attended as we gathered to celebrate this joyful occasion. If you are planning a wedding allow me to give you some tips on how you too can celebrate the day without depleting your savings or, even worse, going into debt for it. #1 – The Venue. My daughter and her fiancé chose to have a backyard ceremony. 0f course this is a very economical location! If you do not have a backyard of your own that would be suitable, perhaps you can ask a friend or relative. They had only 30 people in attendance and did not have the reception there. If you are having more people and or also having the reception in your (or someone’s) yard, you will need to think about renting one or more port-a-potties so as not to overtax your septic system. You will also have to consider parking. Some other low-cost options for the ceremony and/or reception may be a local park, or a VFW (or some such) hall, or your church gathering hall or yard. I have heard of people renting a big house and having the entire ceremony and reception there in addition to have a place for all the out-of-towners to stay. You could even make use of the kitchen and cook your own food for the party right on premise, if you so desire. My daughter chose to have the reception at a local restaurant. This, of course, cost more money than having the whole thing in the yard, but they were willing to accrue that extra cost for the sake of convenience and pleasure (it is their favorite restaurant). It is your wedding. You get to choose which things to save on and which you want to splurge on. It was still much less expensive than renting a catering (wedding) hall. #2. - The Food – Here the key phrase to keep in mind is K.I.S.S. In days of yore a wedding “meal” consisted of some cake and champagne after the ceremony. That still remains an option. Of course, things have evolved a long way since then to the often much more elaborate affairs of today. Here I would like to step in and say that is fine if you’re Mr. and Mrs. Got-Rocks. But if you are on a limited budget, it is not necessary to put out a huge spread. People will be just fine with a basic meal. It can be either buffet-style or a sit-down meal. If you are having a simple backyard wedding, perhaps some people could offer to cook some dishes for you as a wedding present. Even if you are having it in a restaurant or catering it, there is no need for top-notch (AKA expensive) food choices. My daughter had a few appetizers passed around and offered a choice of three simple (vegan) entrées for dinner. It was just fine. I don’t think anybody felt deprived. For dessert, Amber made her own wedding cake (I know!) and it was a simply delicious vanilla cake with strawberry filling. Two other dessert options were offered as well. # 3 – The Drinks – Again, just a champagne toast would be entirely appropriate. But this is your decision. Some people save by having a completely non-alcoholic affair. Or, if that’s not your cup of tea (so to speak), you could offer limited options. Serving beer and wine only is one option, or some couples will include a signature drink (or his and her drinks) as well. You can decide from one extreme to the other (of course the extreme of the top shelf unlimited open bar will be quite an expensive one). # 4 – The Décor – This is one area where it makes no sense to go all out on expenses. So much can be done on a shoestring budget to make the place look elegant, and charming. Strings of white lights do wonders to dress a place up and make it look magical. A few well-placed simple flowers and/or candles can be delightful. Use your imagination for something that captures your own essence and personality. My daughter used the fluffy tops of the phragmites grasses from around our backyard pond to add a little personal whimsy to the table décor. (Free!) # 5 - The Music - Again do what you can to keep it reasonable. Amber did it for free by making a playlist and just having it piped in at the restaurant.. Easy Peasy. For the ceremony she set up a speaker in the yard for her chosen music. You don't have to go as frugal as she did but do you have some musical friends that can play for you? Or someone who can DJ for you? As with all aspects of the planning, be flexible and creative. # 6 – The Flowers – Here Amber opted to go with a dried flower bouquet. She ordered it online for $80. She felt it had the added advantage of becoming a fond remembrance of her wedding as a decoration for their home afterwards. You can certainly make your own bouquet or ask a talented friend to do it. And again, simple is just more elegant. You do not need anything elaborate and gaudy. # 7– The Dress – I can’t state this enough. Simple is just so much more elegant. Of course, if you want a big elaborate princess wedding dress, well, I guess this can be your splurge. But do keep in mind that you will wear this dress exactly one time, and every thrift store in America has at least five or ten of them in stock at all times. Go take a look. You never know what you will find. Here Amber ordered a few simple dresses online and opted for a very lovely and graceful dress for the modest price of $100. And I must say no fancy dress would have made her any more beautiful on her special day. She looked stunning and could not have been more elegant. P.S. She also did her own hair. # 8 – The Guests – Another K.I.S.S. Keep it small! Obviously, the less guests you have the less expensive it will be. As I mentioned before, Amber and Brendan had 30 guests. Enough for a nice intimate celebration. It was quite enough for them to feel that the people closest to them were with them on their special day. A huge party was just not a necessity for them. The most important thing to keep in mind is that although this is a very special event in your life, it is just one day of your life. And while it is certainly a meaningful one it is not imperative that you spend too much money on it to make it memorable. The real importance is what this day signifies in your life, and that commitment is there whether you spend hundreds or hundreds of thousands on it. When I asked Amber, having just gone through this experience, what she would advise other couples currently planning their weddings, she said not to stress over all the little details. Honestly no one is going to remember how perfect your invitations were (sorry to say, but most of them will probably just end up in the trash eventually anyway). And not to get sucked into all the hype that the wedding industry is trying to sell you. You don’t have to buy everything. There is just no point in spending a ton of money on it. When it’s over everyone will just get on with their lives, and you will too, hopefully with your piggy bank still nice and healthy, and you will be glad you still have all that money to help you build your new life together, for that is what is truly important! To make it real: The actual breakdown of Amber and Brendan’s beautiful wedding: Restaurant (including food, drinks, tables, plates, etc.. $2,500 Bus (to transport people to various locations) $700 Photographer $1,200 Dress $100 Brendan’s suit $300 Bouquet $80 ------- Total spent $4,880 So, for under five thousand dollars they had a perfect and absolutely lovely and memorable day. And I just know that with the love they have for each other coupled with their frugality and financial savvy they are destined to have a wonderful life together and a very bright future indeed! This blog entry is dedicated to my beautiful daughter, Amber and her handsome groom, Brendan
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