What are your thoughts on this? Here is how I answered the question, when posed to me: Black Friday shopping does not hurt my budget at all, because I don’t take part in it. To me, that is not what the holiday season is all about. I am not really interested in bucking crowds (or online traffic/waiting) and being in all that mayhem to score a few bargains. I would rather buy my family a few thoughtful gifts, specially selected for them, than whatever the latest on-sale items are this year. But, I would venture a guess that those that do get caught up in all that insanity are probably spending more money than they should be. It is so easy to get swept away with all that bargain shopping and go over budget in the excitement and adrenalin of it all And I also notice, since I watch prices very carefully, especially when I am planning to make a purchase soon, that those “bargain” prices advertised are not necessarily such a great deal. Yes, occasionally they are, but certainly not always. And people come home (or away from a day immersed on the computer) saying they “saved” hundreds of dollars when what they actually did was spend hundreds more. So I would say to those that plan to participate in all that madness, be very careful not to get carried away and blow your budget before the Christmas season even gets underway. Keep it calm and simple if you can. Savor the moments, not the spending. Wishing you all a safe, merry, and bright holiday season!
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I’ve seen or heard this question posted in many different ways throughout the years, the gist of it being that one needs to make a fundamental decision between enjoying their life or saving for the future. I’ve heard the argument that you must “live” for today because you could be hit by a bus tomorrow. Young people have screamed YOYO! (Did I just coin that?), as in, “You’re Only Young Once”. They maintain that they must spend and “live” for today while they are young enough to enjoy it. But I don’t see it as a black and white, either/or situation: Save OR have fun. I believe that if you are wise with your money you can do both. Saving your money does not mean that you have to be a miserly scrooge sitting in your lonely attic counting your money and never having any fun. In fact, with a little planning and wise money management you can easily have a very pleasurable life and also save for your future at the same time. The one equation that people need to let go of is “Spending Money = Fun.” There may be some correlation to that sometimes, but it is certainly not a given. You can spend lots of money on something and have a terrible time, and even more importantly it is very possible to have a great time spending no money at all. I’m sure you can think of several examples of both these facts in your own life. Let’s start with the young (my newly coined YOYO philosophy). Yes, they can certainly save and also have fun. First of all, they have one huge advantage in their favor… the magic of compound interest. The fact is if you start saving (investing) early you will only need to save a fraction of your own money in order to build up a very tidy nest egg for retirement. Most of the money in your IRA at retirement will be growth on the returns you accrued through the years (not the money you actually put in). Pretty neat trick, huh? With a little prioritizing and forethought young folks can also be saving for their other more near-future needs/wants (a car, a house, a wedding, et.) by putting those savings on automatic pilot and just living on what’s left. The prioritizing comes in as you make the conscious decision to forego (instant pleasure X) which is not really adding a great deal of joy to your life in order to save up for that something that will bring you great pleasure indeed. The one joy that seems to be mentioned a lot is traveling. And here is where the young have another distinct advantage. They can travel for practically nothing, staying in youth hostels, or other low cost accommodations. There are even many temporary internship/job opportunities overseas that can allow them to see the world while sometimes even making a little money. The possibilities of low-cost travel are only limited by the imagination for the young (or young at heart). Google “traveling on next to nothing” and see what you come up with. I read a great memoir on the subject a while back called “No Baggage – A Minimalist Tale of Love and Wandering” by Clara Bensen. What about if you are not young? I see people of all ages squandering their money on daily instant gratification pleasures without even realizing that they are doing it. Once, when I was telling some friends about a trip to Singapore that I had just returned from, somebody asked me “I don’t understand. You can’t afford cable TV, but you can afford a trip to Singapore?” My answer to that is you can afford anything (within reason, of course), but you can’t afford everything. I chose to forgo all those channels at $150/month in order to save my money for something better. I even found a way to get TV for free (an old fashioned roof antenna). I also put my frugal skills to use to make the trip possible without breaking the piggybank. If fun is your priority, then go ahead and have it! Have as much as you want. Live! Take advantage of all that free fun that is out there for the taking. If there is some kind of fun that you must have money for, then just look at your spending habits and give something up that does not bring as much joy and save up for what you want. I see absolutely no reason why you can’t do both. Save and have fun! After all, you only live once! Wishing you a happy life today and a bright future tomorrow!
Many people tend to view the holidays as a time of abundance and exuberant gift giving. They equate the season with bountiful shopping and lavish piles of gifts. And while I understand the spirit of generosity and kindness that this custom represents and originates from I can’t help but feel that it has lost something through the years as it has been taken to the extreme. Of course, being the frugalista that I am, I first must note that, for one thing, it “inspires” (forces?) people to spend beyond their means. So many people today are going into debt for the sake of (the societal pressure to create) a lavish holiday. Do you regret the bills in your mailbox come January? Are you able to pay them off? You can read more in my December 2018 blog about how to have a festive holiday without the debt hangover. But it goes even beyond the new year regrets. How does this excessive holiday feel to you? Most people report feeling frazzled and stressed out and overwhelmed trying to pull it off. So then, what is the point of it all? Is it for the children? Well, I can tell you right now that children’s happiness not only is not dependent on how many gifts they receive, but is, in fact, negatively impacted by over abundance. They are actually more appreciative of a few well thought-out gifts than a mountain of “stuff." And what message are you sending them with all this “generosity?" Does the word “spoiled” have any meaning to you? So, if you are currently wrung out by all the stress and overindulgence of the past month, and you are dreading facing those bills in the mailbox come January, it may be time to consider another way next year. Just try it. I think you will be pleasantly surprised. Wishing you all joy, peace, and contentment at the holidays and always
I know I am dating myself here, but back when I was a wee lass, Halloween was a simple holiday, simply for kids. And when I say simple I mean that a few weeks before October 31st, we kids, (not our parents) would start thinking about what we wanted to dress up as for Halloween. Then we would scrounge our closets and other parts of the house for things we could use to accomplish our goal. There were usually things like cardboard boxes, tin foil, old clothes of our parents, yarn, fabric scraps and other such items involved. If our parents went all out and bought us a costume, it would be this thing that came in a 12” x 12” box consisting of a flimsy cover-up with a picture on it to represent what we were supposed to be and a cheap mask with a rubber band in the back to hold it on, like this: These are way more ambitious homemade costumes than we ever came up with. LOL! Very clever! On Halloween day itself we would rush home from school, put our costume on and head out with an old sheet or grocery bag to go around the neighborhood trick or treating. We would be home by dinner to review, organize, and trade our loot and that was it. Halloween over. As for decorations, maybe we would have a few cardboard cutouts of pumpkins, or bats, or ghosts, that we would tape on to our door or windows. And these we saved and used year after year. Oh, and the adults did not celebrate at all. They were not really involved other than to help us with our costume, if we asked, and buy and give out the candy for the trick-or-treaters. Fast forward to today and it (like almost every other holiday, and so many things in our society) has become a multibillion dollar industry that goes on for an entire season. Now I know I am sounding rather curmudgeonly here and don’t get me wrong I am not against people having fun for Halloween, adults included. I am just saying that if you are in debt, or not saving enough, it would be prudent on your part to reign in the holiday spending. Even my own (frugal) family has gotten into the spirit. When my kids were little we began hosting a spooky bonfire party each year at this time, adults included, which even though my kids are all adults now, we still often continue to this day. As I said we held our annual Halloween event, but I never went crazy with the spending. Since I knew it would be happening I kept it in mind all year long when I was shopping at yard sales and thrift shops. And I would take a look for clearance sales in the stores in the days after Halloween. And, of course, I would save things and use them year after year. I would also pad the decorations with things I had around the house, such as many candles in jars. Even Christmas lights can work for a spooky effect. I would recycle old halloween costumes into creepy scarecrows strategically placed around the yard. My kids would often put together a haunted house or trail, also cleverly using whatever household things they could find. For instance, one year “Dr. Ner’do well’s” lab contained body parts in jars, A cauliflower for the brain, grapes for eyeballs, chicken bones for fingers, etc. We also invited everyone to come prepared with their favorite scary story to tell as we sat around the fire. Free frights and chills for everyone! So I think you can see what I’m getting at here. I don’t think we will ever be getting back to that simple sweet Halloween of my childhood years but there are still many ways to get into the spirit and have tons of spooky holiday fun, adults included, without giving up your hard earned money. A little imagination can go a long way towards making your piggy bank happy and still making your Halloween spooktacular! The author and a friend in our homemade costumes at last years bonfire party. Happy Frugal Halloween!
Ah Amore! The month of love. Hallmark, Brachs, Godiva, florists, and all fine jewelry stores, even those romantic getaways and restaurants are eagerly awaiting it! How much do you love your sweetie? Open up your wallet and show them! The ads make it abundantly clear. As James Taylor crooned, “Shower the people you love with love. Show them the way that you feel.” In our society of commercialism, stuff and abundance, it’s just another occasion to sucker you in to buy even more. This one carries a particular guilt trip. If you love your honey how can you not show them through valuable merchandise? What kind of a heartless cad are you? And, of course, Hallmark, et al, went beyond just your particular heartthrob to include the whole dang family in the celebration. From the kiddies all exchanging valentines in school (which, through the years, went from homemade hearts to purchased cards to candy and treats), to cards and gifts made for every one of your beloved family members. Don’t leave anyone out! And just a card (which now can run upwards of $7)? No way! What about the candy? The flowers? The stuffed animals? The jewelry? Showing everyone in your family that you love them can run a pretty good chunk of change! So … my challenge to you is this: Why do we have to spend all this money (mostly on crap that will someday become part of the landfill) to “prove” to our families that we love them? Just because Hallmark told us to? Because companies want to make money selling us their products? Where does it all end? It escalates year after year, holiday after holiday. The only place it can end is with you and me. We must all realize that how much you spend on a person does not equal how much you love them, especially when what you spend on them is for meaningless junk. If you are married or in a committed relationship with someone, you should be working together to make the most of your money, live below your means and save. Work together to make the holiday special. Make a special meal together, go on a sunset stroll somewhere, watch a romantic movie at home (free from the library!) Surprise your spouse with a heart-shaped cake you baked. A heartfelt letter written to them about how much you love them and why would certainly be more appreciated than something some greeting card writer came up with. And as for the kiddos, yes you can shower them with gifts. In fact, you can shower them with gifts for all of the many Hallmark gift giving occasions that have sprung up throughout the calendar year, but what exactly are you teaching them? What are you creating? Perhaps you might want to think about what kind of adults you would like to raise them to be. What kind of expectations are you setting up for them? If you really feel you must note the occasion, how about making some heart shaped cookies and having fun frosting them together? Keep it simple. Resist the impulse to go overboard. That impulse is what got us into this overspending mode in the first place. Yes, Amore! Love is a many splendored thing. We should tell our love ones that we love them, not just in February but always. And finding special ways to show them that we love them is a very sweet thing to do. Little love notes and special surprises are always cherished and appreciated, and go a long way towards keeping the love alive. But the danger comes in equating how much we spend, especially on things dictated to us by outside forces and advertising, with how much we love them. Make love, not debt!
Tis the season …for exuberance, generosity and joyful abandonment. It’s so very festive and fun, but oh so easy to get carried away with it all. And temptations to spend are everywhere you look. Deep discounts! Drastically reduced! Prices slashed! The more you buy the more you save! …. Or do you? It certainly doesn’t seem like it when the bills roll in come January … right around the time when you’re making those New Year’s resolutions, it seems. You know, the ones about getting on a budget and stopping the overspending? So, what are some strategies that you can employ to obtain that simple peaceful holiday season and reign in the excess spending? The first thing you can do is pare down those lists. Of people to buy for, indulgences, activities, and, of course, presents to buy. Well, now is the time to stop and think about that. Take a deep breath, have a cup of tea and sit down and contemplate a quieter, simpler, less hectic holiday season. One that you won’t regret when the new year rolls around. One that you’re not paying for until next August. Does that thought bring you joy? Do you feel your blood pressure dropping already? Sometimes the amount of people we exchange with can become out of hand. What starts out as a nice gesture one year, exchanging with this friend or that relative eventually morphs into a yearly obligation. You may be surprised to find that the other person in this exchange feels the same way and is more than happy to drop the yearly gift swap. Talk to them. Often we also have auxiliary people in our lives to favor with a gift, from teachers to work-related people to babysitters and hairdressers, etc. Many times these people are also swamped with all those many little gifts at holiday time, and though the thought is appreciated they would rather not deal with the deluge. Sometimes a kind and heartfelt note of appreciation is most welcome. If you feel you must give something, make up a big batch of your holiday specialty (cookies, candy, fudge, whatever) and parcel a little out to each of the people in your life that you need to thank. One and done. And edibles are often more appreciated than extra objects to clutter up their lives. Besides paring down the list of people that you exchange with, it is also a good idea to pare down the amount of gifts exchanged. This especially applies our beloved and cherished little offspring. I know it can be so fun to spoil them and see their happy faces when they open that pile of gifts, but is it worth going into debt for? And is it really good for them in the grand scheme of things? ‘
Have you ever noticed that the more gifts children get the less they are actually appreciated? If they open, open, open more and more gifts the presents themselves become secondary to the act of tearing into the innumerable presents. Is this greedy abandonment really the kind of “happiness” you want for your child? Just a few thoughtful gifts might instill a more genuine thankfulness in your child. My last gift giving tip comes too late for this Christmas, but is certainly something you can start for next Christmas. That is to prepare for the holidays all year, both in your spending and your buying. The old fashioned “envelope system” works great here. Just deposit a little bit out of each paycheck and let that be your holiday budget for next year. Pay cash for your presents and other holiday expenses, and when the money’s gone it’s gone. No more spending. And no credit card bills to fret over in January. You can also spread out your buying for the entire year. Look for those after-Christmas sales. Take advantage of clearance sales throughput the year. And one of my favorites, yard sales and thrift shops. I used to pick up gifts for my kids (often still in the box or with tags on) all summer at yard sales and my Christmas shopping was almost done (for dirt cheap) by October except for a few requested items to round out the list. This works especially well with smaller kids who are not as particular as older kids can get. You can sometimes score presents for the adults on your list this way too (keep them in mind when you look around). So, yes, Virginia (or whatever your name is), you can have a joyous holiday season without going into debt for it. In fact, I might venture to say that you can have an even more joyous and peaceful holiday when you keep it simple and take this time to relax and enjoy yourself with your family and friends without all that frenzied spending. Give it a try. You have nothing to lose and lots to gain! Wishing you all a warm and wonderful holiday and a peaceful and prosperous new year! This is, of course, the time of year that we traditionally give thanks for our blessings. We express gratitude for our warm homes, our families, our health, the bountiful food set before us, and whatever other good fortune has befallen us during the course of the year . . . then we dig in, and move on to other things; sports, the weather, movies, politics (and hopefully world war III does not erupt at the dinner table at this point). But what about the other 364 days of the year? And what, pray tell, does this have to do with frugality? In a word… everything! Why? If you think about it for a moment, the very causation of overspending is exactly the opposite of gratitude and thankfulness. If we are truly content and happy with what we have in our lives at this very moment, then why would we feel the need to go out and acquire (buy) more (and more) stuff? We wouldn’t. It’s one thing to pay lip service to thankfulness, but unless we truly feel it in our hearts we will never be completely content and will never resist that constant urge to have more. Don’t get me wrong. I’m not saying you’re a bad person every time you buy something. And it is absolutely human nature to continually want more, in fact, I would argue not only human but all animal nature as well. It is bred into us as a survival mechanism. In a world of “survival of the fittest” and scarcity, this instinct is necessary to keep us alive. But herein lies the rub. We no longer live in that world of scarcity, but unfortunately, our basic animal instinct has not caught up with that fact. So now instead of a nice little cache of saved up nuts and berries to get us through the colder months, we have 15 pairs of shoes and 50 pieces of jewelry stashed away. And that wanting “itch” will just not go away. Comparison is another enemy of contentedness. We don’t only live in our own little bubble, but we are constantly looking at what everyone else has. I can’t even fathom what the survival mechanism is in play here but animals definitely do this too. If you’ve ever had more than one cat, for instance, it is comical to watch them run to the other’s bowl before they have even finished their own meal, just to make sure the other cat did not get something better than they did. If you live in a 1,500 square foot house while everyone around you is in a tiny shack you feel like a queen, but how would you feel if everyone else was living in a 4,000 square foot “McMansion”? Is there anything different about your 1,500 square foot house? No. So what changed your level of happiness? Most people in our country live far more opulent lives than a large percent of the world’s population, even more opulent than the general population of our own country did 50 years ago. But since see we don’t see them (or remember that simpler time) we are constantly striving for something better. The problem is that there is never an end-game to this desire. And people quite literally go into debt every day because of it. I’m not saying it is easy, and it is certainly going against the very grain of our instinctual nature but in the long run, your life will be more deeply satisfying and happy if you can fight the urge to splurge and feel the rich ample abundance of what you already have. And that, my friends, is what being frugal is all about. Wishing you all a very happy Thanksgiving!
Here we are mid-summer, the height of “fun” season, with so many ways to enjoy this glorious time of year. And the myriad of activities at our disposal can run the gamut from free to ultra-expensive. How are you doing so far? Here’s a tip. The amount of money spent does not equate to the amount of fun had. It’s as simple as that. Let’s look at some ways you can have a great summer without breaking the piggy bank, and some alternatives to those activities you are currently forking over oodles of your hard-earned money for. We’ll start with kids who, as anyone who has ever had them in their lives knows, can be a huge drain on your pocketbook. But as the financial savvy among us know, only if you let them. The first thing that comes to mind with kids and summer is camp. This phenomenon alone can empty your piggy bank. The first question that comes to mind is “Do they really need to go?” At the risk of sounding like the old fart that I am, back in my day, we didn’t all get shuffled off to “enriching” summer camps. We just stayed home and played with our siblings and neighborhood friends all summer. And dare I say, used our imaginations and got plenty of exercise to boot. If you still have the need (or desire) to send your kid(s) to camp, there are less expensive, and yes, free options. Look into them. Your little Einstein can have just as much fun at a town or church camp, often run free of charge, then at a fancy “science” (or art, music, sports, etc.) designed primarily to relieve you of your money. Give it some thought before you sign on the dotted line. As for entertaining the little darlings at home (and may I add here that it is not necessarily our job as parents to “entertain” them?), there is no end to the fun things they can do for free or a small layout for materials. There is art (painting, drawing, sculpting, etc.), water play (small backyard pool, water balloons, sprinkler, etc.), backyard games (tag, soccer, hide and seek, red rover, etc.), indoor (board) games for rainy days. Or take them for a bike ride or a hike or a picnic. Get them involved in some gardening. Have them make a little fairy garden. Take them to the library to check out some books and videos or take part in the many free activities offered there. Have a make-your-own sundae party or a campfire and make s’mores. Look around for free family activities in your or neighboring communities. There are often free concerts in the park, street fairs, and other kid-friendly events listed in your local paper. The possibilities for free fun are only limited by your (and your children’s) imagination. Use it! And many of these activities double as adult entertainment too, even for those of you without children in your lives. Bike rides, hikes, picnics, games, campfires, s’mores, ice cream sundaes, and concerts in the park can all be enjoyed by you too. The library is not only a source of free reading material and videos but often also offers programs geared to adults as well, from book clubs to art classes to writer’s groups. There is something for everyone. Again, keep your eyes and minds open to opportunities in your area. Let’s look at some of those things that drain your pocketbook in the summer. I’ve already mentioned concerts. You can find many for free. Even the paid events will often have cheaper outdoor lawn seats available. I much prefer these “seats” anyway as it is very pleasant being outdoors under the stars enjoying the music.
Going out to eat can get costly in the summer months (and always). Why not take turns hosting potluck dinners with your friends at each other’s houses, or take it out to a park or beach? If you just can’t stay away from restaurants, try skipping the appetizers, keeping drinks to a minimum (one or none), sharing an entree, and/or a dessert, or having the dessert when you get home. At least this will keep the cost down to a minimum. And save the eating out for a special occasion. If you do it all the time it loses its specialness and joy anyway. And then, of course, there’s vacation. The cheapest thing to do of course, is not to go on one, or to opt for the ever-popular “staycation”. But if you must go away there are many things you can do to keep the costs down. Staying for a week at a place with a kitchen will cut your meals budget. Going in on a place like this with friends will cut the cost even further. And just as I suggested at home, look for free activities in the area. You can always go on their town’s website in advance to check out the calendar of events. If you don’t want to rent for the week, you can try house-swapping, either with people you know (to check out a new place with in-the-know references as to what is good to do), or through a house swap registry. Some other tactics to save money would be to go on a shorter vacation (do you really need a whole week away?) Try this midweek to save even more. And always be sure to use any discounts you have available, AAA, AARP, Groupon, discount coupon books, etc.) And as for those money intensive kids on vacation, make sure to give them a budget ahead of time. It might be a good idea to provide them with their own vacation fund (for treats, souvenirs, etc.) ahead of time. When it’s gone it’s gone. It’s up to them how long they make it last. This doubles as a good lesson for them for future budgeting (wink, wink). Here’s to enjoying the glorious bittersweet last month of summer. Keep the activities simple and on-budget and you can look back on your delightful summer with no regrets and no debt, only fond memories to treasure forever. |
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