It’s May Flowers month, so I would like to take this month’s blog to look on the brighter side. We began this quarantine journey during the raw March winds when we too were raw and reeling from the shock of what was happening. Many people experienced a job loss or at least a reduction in pay. We could barely wrap our brains around what was happening. All we could do was retreat to our homes, as we were told to do, and try to make sense of it all. We remained hunkered down through the rains of April, for the most part even unable to get outside much in the soggy world out there. As the temperatures plummeted out there so did our investments, and often our spirits. Things looked pretty bleak. All we could do was take stock of where we were financially and in every other way. For those of us who still had jobs it was just a matter of staying afloat and ignoring the stock market plunge (as we are always told to do), and stay the course. For those struggling with income loss it was a matter of prioritizing and taking care of the most pressing needs (shelter and food). The rest would have to be figured out eventually. “But Victoria”, I can hear you saying now, “I thought this was going to be a silver linings message?” Ok, well now it’s May. The month of flowers. We are still home, but the initial shock has worn off a little. Those that have lost income have hopefully figured out a way to get their most important needs met. Maybe they are getting unemployment, SNAP benefits, food from a food bank, their stimulus check, or help from other sources. The rest of us are learning to live at home, creating new routines, keeping ourselves busy and occupied. But the real May flowers are going to be what we take away for having gone through this. For many this time has given us somewhat of a wake-up call. We were hurrying along through life without even thinking about where all our money and time were going. This has given us time to pause, and think, and live a different way, whether we wanted to or not. Many are surprised to see how little they are spending now that they are forced to stay home, unable to go to restaurants, coffee shops, stores, bars, movies, concerts, etc., etc. Some never paid attention to how much all that was really costing them. And some are finding that they actually can lead a pretty good life without all that spending. Perhaps they will rethink it when life returns to normal. So that’s a silver lining. Forced savings helps you discover a different way. Some people were caught short with no savings to help get them through a time of no income. It’s a hard lesson to learn for sure, but a lesson learned nonetheless. In either case being at home gives you the time to step back and examine the way you have been living, where your money has been going and to make some changes moving forward. What was once an abstract notion “I know I should be saving up for an emergency fund” becomes stark reality, and hopefully, brings about positive change for the future. A silver lining! The silver linings go beyond all that though. As usual when we go through tough times, it brings out the goodness in people. Acts of kindness and generosity abound. It is heartwarming to hear the stories of people going above and beyond for their neighbors, friends and people they don’t even know. And staying at home has given us a chance to live at a different pace, to stop all the rushing about and really spend time with each other in ways we rarely do when life is going full tilt. We have been playing board games, making meals and baking together, even just talking and going for long walks together. Some people have reconnected with old hobbies that they never had time for when life was in full swing. Knitting, gardening, painting, playing an instrument... All that is the best silver lining of all as far as I am concerned. If you know me at all, in person or from my writing, you know that I have long championed the slower, simpler, frugal lifestyle that has now become a forced reality for many. I would like to think that some of this will stick, that at least some people will come away from all this with a new perspective. Priorities will shift. People will slow down just a little. Spend more time home with their families and less money on needless frivolities. I think that would be the biggest silver lining of all. A beautiful May flower indeed! Now if only something would come along to force us to reduce our screen time…
Wishing you all a bright and beautiful flowery future!
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This is, of course, the time of year that we traditionally give thanks for our blessings. We express gratitude for our warm homes, our families, our health, the bountiful food set before us, and whatever other good fortune has befallen us during the course of the year . . . then we dig in, and move on to other things; sports, the weather, movies, politics (and hopefully world war III does not erupt at the dinner table at this point). But what about the other 364 days of the year? And what, pray tell, does this have to do with frugality? In a word… everything! Why? If you think about it for a moment, the very causation of overspending is exactly the opposite of gratitude and thankfulness. If we are truly content and happy with what we have in our lives at this very moment, then why would we feel the need to go out and acquire (buy) more (and more) stuff? We wouldn’t. It’s one thing to pay lip service to thankfulness, but unless we truly feel it in our hearts we will never be completely content and will never resist that constant urge to have more. Don’t get me wrong. I’m not saying you’re a bad person every time you buy something. And it is absolutely human nature to continually want more, in fact, I would argue not only human but all animal nature as well. It is bred into us as a survival mechanism. In a world of “survival of the fittest” and scarcity, this instinct is necessary to keep us alive. But herein lies the rub. We no longer live in that world of scarcity, but unfortunately, our basic animal instinct has not caught up with that fact. So now instead of a nice little cache of saved up nuts and berries to get us through the colder months, we have 15 pairs of shoes and 50 pieces of jewelry stashed away. And that wanting “itch” will just not go away. Comparison is another enemy of contentedness. We don’t only live in our own little bubble, but we are constantly looking at what everyone else has. I can’t even fathom what the survival mechanism is in play here but animals definitely do this too. If you’ve ever had more than one cat, for instance, it is comical to watch them run to the other’s bowl before they have even finished their own meal, just to make sure the other cat did not get something better than they did. If you live in a 1,500 square foot house while everyone around you is in a tiny shack you feel like a queen, but how would you feel if everyone else was living in a 4,000 square foot “McMansion”? Is there anything different about your 1,500 square foot house? No. So what changed your level of happiness? Most people in our country live far more opulent lives than a large percent of the world’s population, even more opulent than the general population of our own country did 50 years ago. But since see we don’t see them (or remember that simpler time) we are constantly striving for something better. The problem is that there is never an end-game to this desire. And people quite literally go into debt every day because of it. I’m not saying it is easy, and it is certainly going against the very grain of our instinctual nature but in the long run, your life will be more deeply satisfying and happy if you can fight the urge to splurge and feel the rich ample abundance of what you already have. And that, my friends, is what being frugal is all about. Wishing you all a very happy Thanksgiving!
Last month I discussed the topic of saving money on your school expenses. Now I would like to suggest that you think of every day as an opportunity to save money. Staunching the flow of money out of your pockets in your daily life you can really add up to some serious savings by the month’s end. And even more serious savings by the end of a year. Invest that money and just watch the pile grow larger year after year. All with a few simple changes in your life to save, well, some simple change each and every day. It really requires nothing but a shift in your mindset. When you start to look around at every purchase you make (or decide not to make) with an eye to saving a few bucks you will be amazed at how many opportunities to do just that will arise. Here are some key points to consider before making any purchase. It may seem obvious but first of all, do you really need it? A great deal of purchases are made for things that we don’t really need. Try to be more cognizant of this before parting with any of your hard earned bucks. From the blatant impulse buy (snacks, drinks, etc.) to the fancy gadgets. Stop and think. Do I need this? Do I already own something else I can use for this purpose? Can I borrow it? Can I wait until it comes down in price? Buy it used? If you decide that you really do need an item, do not buy it on impulse. Take some time to comparison shop, look for deals, bargain with the seller. If you take enough time you may even cool off and decide you don’t need it after all And remember the old expression “Waste not, want not” (or am I dating myself here)? Another (more modern?) way of putting it is “Use it up, wear it out, make it do, or do without.” These are excellent frugal words to live by. The less you waste your resources, the less you have to spend money replacing them. This applies to all aspects of life and everything you spend your money on, from food, to beauty products, to cleaning products, to clothes, to utilities (heat, electricity) and even to electronics, appliances, and cars. If you keep these expressions in the forefront of your mind it will help you to make wiser more frugal spending decisions in your everyday life. Speaking of utilities like heat, electricity, and also phones, internet, and TV, and insurance, do not leave them on autopilot. Revisit what you are spending on these things every so often. Are you really using everything you are paying for? Do some comparison shopping. Perhaps it’s time to switch companies? Sometimes even the threat of such a thing will get your existing company to lower its rates. Sometimes entertainment is a big budget drain. Keep in mind that there are a great many ways to be entertained for free. At home game nights, potluck suppers with friends, videos borrowed from the library, village festivals and events, picnics in the park, hikes, bike rides, free museums, and art exhibits, the list goes on and on. (And if all else fails you can always take one of my enlightening and fun courses or attend one of my Frugal Living meetings one night for a nominal fee) ;)😃😃 I would like to get up on my soapbox for just a moment with a little speech on the pleasure principle. Think about something that you really enjoy. Chocolate? Wine? A big juicy steak or lobster? Now imagine that you have unlimited access to said thing (since we’re imagining here, you might as well imagine that said thing will not do anything to your waistline or arteries). Now you can eat this thing as much as you want all day, every day. (I’m not sure what it says about me that all the items I chose were food). Anyway, what do you think that constant access to your beloved treat would do to your enjoyment of it? I would wager a guess that it would no longer hold the same joyous appeal after a while. So what I am saying is a little self-deprivation of the things that you love can actually enhance your enjoyment of them. Good for your pocketbook, your waistline and your pleasure sensors! A win-win-win all around! And it goes without saying (or does it?) that you should always consider before you make a purchase whether this is a want or a need. Be honest. Many times what we call a need is actually a want. And what I like to do is make a game out of it. Challenge yourself. How low can you go with your grocery shopping this week? Can you skip a week and creatively make use of what you have in your pantry already? How long can you stretch that product? Always use everything to the last drop. How long can you go without buying clothes? Without getting a haircut? Save every $5 bill you get for one month (one year?) Make mini goals for yourself. If you usually spend $100/week on groceries, try to keep it to $80 this week (then $60 …). Can you put away an extra $200/month ($50/week) to pay for a nice vacation next summer? (without having to put in on the credit card). Once you get into the “mode” you will begin to discover many ways in your daily life that you can shave off a few dollars spent. And this success will spur you on to even greater savings. It’s a wonderful feeling to gain control of your spending and have your money work for you in a way it never has before. The joy of frugal living can be very addicting. And unlike other addictions this is a great one to have! Living in such a materialistic society as we do, it can be hard to even detangle oneself from the mindset of constantly wanting and buying more and more stuff. We have been bombarded with ads from a very early age, from every possible media, telling us why we “need” this that and the other thing. We are told how each of these items will make our lives easier, fuller, more fun, etc., etc. Just the very act of “shopping” has become a leisure time activity in and of itself. We are trained to always want the bigger and better next thing. We compare ourselves to others based on if our stuff is as good, new, and shiny as theirs. We never reach the point of satisfaction because there is always that next best new thing coming out that we have to have, as evidenced by the lines for the newest model iPhone. Really??! Is it that much better than the previous model that you have to waste precious hours of your life waiting on line to have it a few hours (or even days or weeks) earlier than you would have been able to get it otherwise? To me, that represents the epitome of how deeply this materialistic mindset is entrenched in us. And once we get that new thing, how long does the satisfied happy feeling last? Not long apparently as evidenced by all the stuff put out at garage sales (many with tags still on), not to mention Craigslist, eBay, and even worse, into the ever-growing landfills. It is the thrill of the acquisition that is being sought. Once we actually own the thing the joy fades pretty quickly. This just sets us up for wanting more to experience that “high of the buy” once again. As you can see with this type of scenario one can never be truly satisfied and happy. Would you like to get off this unsatisfying and frustrating carousel? I know I do and I make a very concentrated effort in my life to buck the system. It can be hard to do when you are literally surrounded by it, but the better you get at recognizing the pattern and fighting to control being sucked in by it, the happier (not to mention less stressed and richer) you can be. It is when you get out of the “more and better stuff” mindset you truly start to appreciate the things that you have. And ironically the less stuff you have the more you appreciate it. And even more ironically the less you pay for each item the more you appreciate it. I take great satisfaction in having acquired an item for free or very inexpensively that has given me much use or added beauty to my life. The less I spend on something the more I appreciate it, because not only do I appreciate the thing itself, I am also appreciative that it did not take my hard earned money away from me. This can be especially true of items that we tend to collect a lot of, such as clothes. It feels much better to have a few shirts that you really like and enjoy wearing than to have your closets and drawers stuffed with them, many of which you don’t even wear. And if you spent a lot of money on those shirts that you don’t even wear that can make you feel worse. As they say, “Less is more”. It really is true! I take great pleasure in buying a shirt that I really like at a thrift shop for a few bucks (or even better if someone has given it to me for free) and I feel that pleasure each time I wear the shirt. The fact that our world is bombarded with stuff and we can go out to stores filled with it and buy, buy, buy, and now even at home we are bombarded with the urge to buy, buy, buy on our computers leaves us in a state of wanting constant instant gratification. All we have to do is have a thought of wanting something and it can be ours at the swipe of a credit card or click of a button. But has this made us any happier? I would venture to say no. What it has done is deprive us of the joy of waiting for our pleasure. For it is in that anticipation of pleasure that our excitement builds up. If we have to wait for something, then we appreciate it so much more when we finally do get it. Instant gratification has effectively deprived us of that very pleasure. Some people think of trying to live below their means as a painful way to live. They view it as deprivation. But it is all in the mindset of how you approach it. I find that living below my means gives me more pleasure than living the life of constant instant gratification through buying more and more stuff. It is a less stressful, slower, more satisfying way to live. It allows you to savor pleasure more deeply rather than to be constantly looking to acquire the next best thing. I urge you to give the joy of slow acquisition a try. You will be surprised how much pleasure not spending money can bring you. Your life will be less stressful, more peaceful and richer than ever before, I promise! |
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